Something clicked yesterday.

I don't know why but something dawned on me regarding my weight loss and weight in general.

"You have only got yourself to blame!"

That is so true. When I was 16 I weighed 10 stone 8 lbs. When i was 20 I weighed around 12 stone. I had the perfect opportunity to get to goal and stay there but I didn't. The reason for this? Because I was greedy and wanted to eat. Well, I certainly ate that is for sure but I should have got back to plan instead of letting it get out of control until I got to the situation I am in now.

I can make all the excuses I want. I can blame my ex, I can blame working in a pub, I can blame my mum for cooking such lovely dinners but the truth of the matter is "It's my fault!"

I think finally realising and accepting that is what is spurring me on this time. I know I am in control of what I eat and how much I weigh. I know I am in control of my own life and this time I am SO going to win the battle with myself. That is not to say I don't need help along the way, because I do and nor is it to say I won't make mistakes again because I will but I am going to get to a weight I want to be and learn to love myself again.

That has already started. Yesterday I had two long walks, with a combined total of 5 miles and 12 weeks ago, when I started this I could not even have thought about walking that far. Even a walk to the bus stop seemed like a marathon.

I even thought of a song as I was walking and it is one I am going to remember in future...

"You've only got yourself to blame, no pain no gain!"

More comparisons

Hi. I hope you are all dealing with the post Christmas blues and for those of us on a healthy eating plan, that everything is getting back to normal.

A good piece of advice from Fiona, my old leader was no matter how bad things get, you must draw a line under it and start again. I think I have managed to take her advice. I had a bit of a wobble today with a buffet style tea but, as that is all I have eaten today, even that is not too bad.

Anyway, my reason for posting (I'll be doing another post either later tonight or tomorrow sometime) is I have been going through pictures on my laptop and I have found some that are great for comparison reasons.

The first one (in black top) was taken in November on a night out. Weight wise, (I just consulted my card) it was 13 1/2 lbs ago. The second one (In turquoise top, black cardigan and with very bad roots) was taken on Easter Sunday 2006 and I was at my heaviest. The final one was taken on Christmas day (again in turquoise top). I don't particulary like that one but even if I have to admit I can see I have lost weight.

I think I am going to keep a collection of horrible pictures so that whenever I have a wobble, I can look at them and see how far I have come.

Before I go, my challenge is now up and running and can be found at www.freewebs.com/weightlosschallenges/ . Everyone is free to join in. Just follow the instructions to do so.

I'll be posting again soon.

Vicky xx

Fancy a challenge? Join me in the New Year

Hi everyone,

I have decided a good way to keep myself and hopefully a lot of people reading this motivated is to hold a challenge. This will run from the New Year, or your next weigh in until Valentines Day, or your weigh in that week. The challenge is to lose 14 lbs each (as Valentines day is the 14th Feb). It is quite a hard target but with 7 weeks and/or 8 weigh in's until then it is possible to do this and will be a great start to the New Year.

I will look at setting up a website for this over the weekend so keep checking here for more details.

As for me, I do not have Weigh In this week but I unofficially weighed myself yesterday and to be honest it was not great reading. Never mind, there is still a whole week to official weigh in so I can redeem myself by then if I am really good.

Todays photo is of me taken with my cousin's 7 month old baby Amber. She is so big but so lovely.

Anyway, I'm off to work. I'll post more over the weekend.

Vicky xx

Comparison

Ok here goes. I have enclosed the most horrible picture I could find of me before I started WW (in the orange t-shirt) along with one taken today. It might only be 3 stone and I still have 13 stone to go to reach the weight I want to be but I hope this shows the difference.

My Christmas post will follow soon but for now, Merry Christmas to you all.

Vick xxx

This week I lost

4 and a half pounds. WHOA! I left the weigh in very happy as I have lost 41 and a half pounds in total now but also a teeny weeny bit disappointed as another half would have taken me to 3 stone. But I am not going to let myself get carried away. I am doing brilliantly, but Christmas will be a big test for me.

Regarding my complaint to Weightwatchers. I think the best thing is to copy and paste the response I had from customer services here:

Hello,Thank you for y our e-mail, and I am apoplogise for the delay in replying. I really do have to apologise for the treatment you received at your Meeting, and you were obviously not given the Service to which you were entitled. I am delighted to say that I have spoken to the Area, and this situation will not be allowed to continue and everything is now back to normal - two weighs and two talks. Please do accept our sincere apologies and may I wish you a very Happy Christmas. Best wishes

All well and good right? WRONG!!! Again the best thing is to copy and paste the email I had to send to them this evening.

Thanks for the reply and Merry Christmas to you all.I am afraid to say I have another complaint to make about my meeting.I had booked holiday for work this afternoon so I could go to the earlier meeting. I had done this before I had received a response from yourselves and could not unbook it. However, after reading your response I thought it was only right to go to the 1915 meeting after we had complained about it.I left home early this evening for this meeting because of the fog and arrived at my meeting at shortly before 1900. There were a few others milling around, some of whom I believe yourselves to have spoken to after the conversation I had with them. As soon as the other meeting came out (1815), we went in only to find that everything was packed away. However, after a quick complaint she told us "I will be reviewing the situation after Christmas but you can still weigh now!". One of the helpers asked if we could have it for free as we did not have a meeting last week and missed out this week. She said no. A few walked out but a couple of us paid to weigh. I spoke to her and told her that I had booked holiday this afternoon specifically so I could go to her meeting and yet I thought as we had complained, we had better go to the 1915 one. She just rolled her eyes at me. I then said about the complaint I had made to customer services and that we were told normal service was back on tonight and she said "I JUST TOLD YOU, I WILL BE REVIEWING THE SITUATION AFTER CHRISTMAS!" Someone else said "Customer services have told us that this meeting was back on from tonight" and she said "Well it's not!" I then said "I think I am going to find another meeting and she said "well that's probably for the best!" I then weighed and walked out.Outside, there were about 10 of us talking about these and one of the helpers came out and told us all to stick with it as that is what she wants, for us all to stop going to the meeting so that she has no reason to run it. We have all decided we will stand up to her but she left me in almost tears tonight and I am fuming. Money is not really the issue but I am annoyed I have paid her £9.90 over the past two weeks to just stand on a set of scales, something which I can do for free at home. I really am annoyed at this and another things. For example, I have wasted 6 hours holiday and we really were led to believe this meeting was back on tonight. If I had known it wasn't going to be I could have gone to the earlier meeting as the talks motivate me and are my saviour. Also, I wanted to buy some toffee and/or chocolate bars to get through Christmas and the New Year but I couldn't as everything was packed away.These may seem little things but, along with her attitude they all add up and I would ask that you do something about this.. I think she was completely wrong to tell me that I probably should find another class. I was very happy with this class until Diane upset us all and now I feel like we are being victimised for complaining.Please don't take this as a threat but I will consider taking further action against this if this situation is not resolved. I know others contacted you regarding this issue last week, and one spoke to your operations manager (?), I also believe they will be contacting you again. Now we are in a situation that none of us wanted and could have been avoided, the main problem now being that if we continue to go to this meeting, which as I said last week is convenient to us all that she will be hostile towards us, as was proved tonight.Sorry to complain and be so harsh but I really do feel something needs to be done about this.Seasons Greetings to you all.

I think that explains it all.

Over Christmas I will get someone to take a picture of me so you can all see me almost 3 stone lighter. For now, I have included a picture of my Christmas Tree.

Merry Christmas to you all and I hope you all have a fantastic time and that santa brings you all you wished for.

Vicky xx

I did it!

I achieved my Christmas Goal. This week I weighed in at 22 stone 12 pounds which is 1lb under my Christmas mini target of 10%. So far I have lost 2 stone 9 pounds.

I was very disappointed at my weigh in though as my leader is cancelling that class. It is one of the only one's in Southampton I can get to because of work committments and I am very angry with her attitude to everyone, something I am taking up with WeightWatchers customer service and waiting for a reply on. Her meeting was well attended by people who have lost more weight collectively than the earlier class but she actually said "Well that's the way it's going to be!". She only did weigh in's this week so we still had to pay £4.95 and didn't actually get a talk. I have managed to find another meeting but it will mean relying on a family member to give me a lift as it involves a walk home along a dark road and I am not perpared to do that. Also, the weigh in is on a Monday and Thursday suits me for so many reasons.

Anyway, this week I have managed to blag a couple of hours off work so I will go to the earlier meeting at my "old class" but I refuse to stay to her meeting. So, from the 8th January 2007 I shall be attending my new class. I always thought Weight Watchers was about helping people to lose weight, not about the money and if I didn't need the discipline of a weigh in I would stop going altogether I am that disgusted.

Oh well, moan over, I shouldn't let that discourage me because I know I am doing so well. Who knows, when I get to goal maybe I can become a leader and do a later class!!! LOL.

Yesterday

Good evening. I thought I would share with you my achievement yesterday.

For so long I have been so fat that walking really has hurt my back. It was ok for about 200 yards, if that and then it hurt. I knew that losing a few pounds would solve that and indeed for the last few weeks I have been able to walk the half a mile or so to the bus stop after work (I get a lift there) without it hurting. Last week, I attempted to walk to the next bus stop and I achieved this so yesterday I went for it and walked to Tesco. It is about a mile each way, plus the walking around the store which accounts for approximately 6700 steps at my normal rate. I was so proud of myself for achieving this "No Scale Victory" (NSV) and I am NEVER EVER going to let myself get to the stage that I cannot walk again.

Some friends think I am very brave for writing this blog, however I want to do it as much for myself in that it will show me how far I have come. I do have targets along the way which I am not going to share with you just yet except for one and that is to get another 2lbs off before Christmas. That will mean I will have lost 10% of my body weight since I rejoined Weightwatchers. That will be a big psychological point for me.

In this blog, I will also share information about my personal life as well as my work life and social life which is pretty non existent at the moment. However, I feel this is related to my weigh loss journey as I know with weightloss, comes confidence and with that will come back my social life.

Anyway, The picture of me was taken in April. I rather like this one.

Thanks for reading.

Vicky xx

I forgot to add my picture which was taken in June at Totnes Castle. It truly is horrible.

Hello and Welcome

I hope through this blog I can share with you my incredible weightloss journey which I started 8 Weeks ago (19th October).

First, a little about myself. My name is Vicky, I am 30 years of age and single. I have had a weight problem all my life and I think this is the first time I have admitted it and been willing to do something about it. I have posted up a rather unflattering "before" picture of me which I totally hate but it has been my inspiration so far. I will post other pictures as I continue on this journey which I hope will show the change in me.

So why join Weightwatchers again after so long? The simple answer is it works for me. The first time I got to 10 stone 8 lbs (I was 16 years of age) but I put it all back on, and more and when I joined up again in 1996 I was 18 stone and 13lbs. That time I lost 6 stone but my downfall was starting work in a pub and I let it lapse. The next time was in 1998. By the time I stepped on the scales this time I was a ghastly 21 stone. I lost about 5 stone this time but again it lapsed and in 2002 when I got back on them I was a shameful 25 stone 10lbs. I lost over 5 stone that time but split up with my fiance and ate to console myself. So, here we are in 2006. When I stepped on the scales this time I was 25 stone and 7 lbs. So far, I have lost 2 stone 6 pounds and another 2 pounds will take me to losing 10% of my body weight. So, going back to the original question, you are probably all thinking that is obviously doesn't work for me if I put all that weight back on but it was my fault for that and no-one elses. I am a greedy eater and used to eat for the sake of it but it is time to get in control of my actions.

My reasons for losing weight. Of course there will always be that society factor in that everyone expects everyone to be skinny these days. The main reasons though are for me. I want to look good, I want to feel good and I want to be able to walk more that 400 yards without it hurting my back because of all the extra weight I am carrying around. Admittedly, I have passed that hurdle already but I WANT TO BE SLIM.

So, that's my reason for writing this. It will help me, and I hope you find it enjoyable too. Too all my weightwatcher buddies that are reading this, I am sure you know exactly what I mean and we are all in this together, FOREVER.

Enjoy.

Vicky xx