I need help

I've always had a weight problem and as you will will have read (if you have been following my blog throughout) I've "dieted" many times before with various degrees of success. Although I've weighed less in the past, this has been the most I have ever lost in one go before. It has also been the most successful I have ever been.

However, this is the crucial time for me because I'm having a bit of a wobble. I know many of you reading this will be saying "Vic, what are you on about, you've done so well!" but I've not been feeling mentally strong just lately for various reasons (that I won't go into at the moment). I think this, combined with TOTM led to my STS last week which for me is a bad result because I really needed a loss as I was feeling a bit down in the dumps.

Anyhow, in the past I would have carried on being down in the dumps after WI and this in turn would have led to me letting things spiral and to eventually giving up. It sounds a bit over the top I know but that is the way I am. I knew I had to do something to stop this happening because I really want to do this this time.

Straight after the meeting last Wednesday evening I could have gone home and wallowed in my own self pity but when I got into the car I had a little word with myself and decided not to become a failure but to become a success story. I pointed the car in the direction of the Leisure Centre and went to aqua aerobics , showing anyone who wanted to see them my before pictures whilst we were getting ready.

It's been a strange week because as I mentioned before my meetings are changing to a Monday from today so I've effectively only had 5 days to turn things around and banking points has been a bit weird. However, I have banked points which I will scrap straight after WI in a little while. I've also earned lots of bonus points through exercise and, if the scales at the gym and at home are to be believed, I should be in a good result so I am keeping everything crossed.

I titled this entry I need help because I do. I am petrified at being 25 stone 7lbs again. I'm terrified of even weighing more than I weigh now again. I get a lot of help from myself by purely looking at pictures at what I used to look like and remembering what I used to look like and from my family who understand that I need to do this now. Marie, my leader also gives me a lot of help and support by believing in me and allowing me to be a helper at her meetings. It has enabled me to meet lots of great people and make some good friends. Without knowing it Wendy, my aqua aerobics instructor, Hazel, Vera and lots of others from my aqua classes have helped me too by asking me how I get on and congratulations me each week. Everyone who reads this blogs and leaves comments helps me because it is nice to know others are in the same situation as me and the lovely people off the Weightwatcher forums help me with all the friendship, support, motivation and encouragement that is around. The 5+ forum is a major factor in why I have done so well .

So if you see me about on the boards a lot at the moment, it's because I need "help". So say hello and stop for a chat. I don't get lots and lots of spare time but I do try and post whenever i can. You can also add me to msn. Just email me your address to vicky@weightlosschallenges.co.uk and I will add you to my msn account and if I can help anyone in anyway, please do not be afraid to ask.

Vicky xxx